Iona-5 Archive Discs

Sector Z9 Archive Discs

 Disc 01: Doctor Novikov: Work on the nanocytes was delayed by disruptions to the supply chains following food riots in Sector C4.  This is extremely frustrating as I was beginning to make progress in some very important biohacks.  The timing could not have been worse.  I’d just managed to convince those benighted morons in City Hall to secure my funding for another financial year.  

Now they’re sure to use this disruption as an excuse to bring in more emergency austerity measures.  I may have to go to that cryocaine soaked twit, Fiona Price and try to talk her into helping me secure resources from Miss Fenway.

In better news, my latest batch of nanocytes has shown encouraging results in alleviating symptoms of Husion’s disease.  My hypothesis that Husion’s is linked to the AFX34 mutation is now strongly supported.  

 Disc 02: Fiona Price: I was wankered on whisky and cryocaine last night.  Woke up in the cells.  Last thing I remember is crashing through the shield at the city limits on Dets’ motorcyle, then I was falling.  This has to stop.  I’ve promised these people and I’ve promised these people.  Besides, I’m getting too old to get away with this level of substance abuse for much longer.

On a less personal note, it’s looking like we’re going to have abandon Sector Z9 soon and rebuild somewhere else.  Radiation levels here are too high.  The Corium foot under the old Hunterston nuclear research center is contaminating the water.  Given that the half life of Plutonium-239 is around 25,000 years, I think we can assume the situation here won’t be improving much in our lifetimes. 

The new city is going to be called Iona-5, an anagram of Evi and Fiona, the two people who will be building it.

 Disc 03: Erika Kioku: Cyber Crimes Division – Log ASEK-1028 – Erika Kioku – 28th Year of The New Calendar

After the riots in Sector C4, a few of the ringleaders were rounded up for memory screening.  It should be emphasised that this is just a precaution to ensure the riots were a result of normal thuggery and hooliganism; not linked to the Neo-Luddite movement.  Neo-Luddism is a real and present danger to our society.  The Neo-Luddites have many sympathisers, some of them in high places.

 Disc 04: Iona-5 Herald – Letters To The Editor – 14th June – 27th Year of The New Calendar

I feel I must take up cudgels with the city councillors of Iona-5!  I am sick of seeing rises in my community tax that coincide with crumbling infrastructure and litter strewn streets!  This, while management from City Hall spend exorbitant sums of public money on liquor and cryocaine every night!

My husband fought in World War III, and the moral decline in our society in the intervening time is nothing short of disgraceful.   Shame, shame, shame!

Mrs Kalyn Novak, Gibson Street, Iona-5.

 Disc 05: Neo Luddite Manifesto: A Neo-Luddite Manifesto – Introduction – By Fiona Price

The most common misconception about Neo-Luddites is that we either hate or fear technology.  This is nonsense.  Every human being who has ever lived has relied on technology for survival.  Without the tools to make fire we freeze to death.  Those tools are a product of technology.  Without sewerage we die of hideous diseases.  Sewerage is a product of technology.  Without vaccines, many of us don’t survive childhood.  Without spectacles or contact lenses, many of us are myopic to near blindness.  The list goes on and on.  What Neo-Luddites object to is the misuse of technology.

The name Luddite is attributed to Ned Ludd, the possibly fictional leader of the resistance movement during the first industrial revolution.  The original Luddites fought against skilled workers being stripped of their livelihoods and forced to move to filthy cities and work in the dark, satanic mills.

 Disc 06: Neo Luddite Manifesto: Song for the Luddites – Lord Byron

I.

As the Liberty lads o’er the sea

Bought their freedom, and cheaply, with blood,

So we, boys, we

Will die fighting, or live free,

And down with all kings but King Ludd!

II.

When the web that we weave is complete,

And the shuttle exchanged for the sword,

We will fling the winding sheet

O’er the despot at our feet,

And dye it deep in the gore he has pour’d.

III.

Though black as his heart its hue,

Since his veins are corrupted to mud,

Yet this is the dew

Which the tree shall renew

Of Liberty, planted by Ludd!

            Fiona Price,

            23rd year of the new calendar.

 Disc 07: Annette Scully: When you force people to have their every thought and memory edited, as the Cyber Crimes Division tried at first with Neukamp-Immersion, the people rebel, riot and bring down the Government.  When you market Neukamp-Immersion as a killer app, integrated into the next gimmicky gadget, charge people money for it, alter their thoughts and memories through subtle manipulation rather than blatant editing, they flock in droves to pay for it.  

Who would have thought that the end of privacy, even in our very thoughts, would be financed by the very victims of the technology, to the sounds of their rapturous applause and a stock market boom?

And thus the idea of the Diànlǎn was born.

 Disc 08: Sector Z9 Tribune: Sector Z9 Tribune – 8th February – 27th Year of The New Calendar

Reports of a 'haunting' of the Atomic Café in Sector Z9 in Daemon Haven have gained traction following alleged incidents of touch scripts operating themselves, sounds triggering from unknown sources and the movement of prims without explanation.

Doctor Novikov, one of Z9's most eminent scientists, was brought in by Fiona Price to investigate.  He maintains that he could find no evidence of the virtual poltergeist.

Said Novikov, 'If I may offer an alternative explanation, not to sound cynical or anything, the thought occurs that Miss Price might be trying to generate some free publicity.  That seems rather more probable than things that go bump in the metaverse.'

 Disc 09: Two Bees: Two Bees or Not Two Bees?  Glitter Bee Trouble and Tam Bee Trouble.

 Disc 10: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - May 27th - 28th Year of The New Calendar

Police are said to be appalled and mystified as to how a false AI facial recognition match led to the arrest of Petra Danyka, the head of vendor management at City Hall.

Senior police were derided as incompetent after giving a green light for a raid on Mrs Danyka's home.  This followed the bungle that saw AI algorithms match her to footage of the assailant who murdered Anderz Knox with a blunt instrument in the alleyway across the road from the Crimson Immortal Lounge on Main Street.  It turned out that at the time of death, Mrs Danyka had been in DewXon City drinking all night with two dozen witnesses.

As stated by Chief Inspector Kiska Stelarius of Iona-5 police, 'We certainly have a quality control issue, no arguing that.  Our coding team have assured us that the glitch will be identified and ironed out; in fact they've staked their jobs on it.'

 Disc 11: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - May 27th - 28th Year of The New Calendar

An ED-209 has been deployed on the back streets of Iona-5, following an increase in public disorder, in a move that has incensed civil-rights campaigners.  The move follows the arson attack at the East End of Gibson Avenue and the murder of Anderz Knox in an attack following a drunken brawl in The Crimson Immortal Lounge.  

City Hall released a statement saying that rumours of the ED-209's sketchy safety record are grossly exaggerated and that a full risk assessment has been carried out.

The move was backed by local neighbourhood watch groups.  Kalyn Novak the leader of the Concerned Citizens Committee, or CCC, said that, 'The decent people of Iona-5 have had enough of the city being run by louts, hooligans, sexual deviants and addicts.  Personally, I wouldn't even give them twenty seconds to comply.'

 Disc 12: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - May 27th - 28th Year of The New Calendar

Iona-5 Government officials in City Hall have come under criticism for missing targets on radiation levels for the third quarter running.

Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee has stressed that lowering radiation levels from toxic waste was a key plank of City Government's election manifesto.

Emma Stannis, a spokeswoman for City Hall, responded that she didn't think city residents were concerned with radiation levels, and that the real question is whether or not living in the poorer areas of the city where radioactivity has accumulated is a lifestyle choice linked to low educational attainment.

In a fractuous debate, Novak shot back that people with degrees had seen their jobs automated, and that Stannis was very lucky to be in politics, because if she were in a profession where vainglorious dishonesty and outright incompetence weren't rewarded, she'd have been fired for gross misconduct a long time ago.

 Disc 13: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 1st June - 28th Year of The New Calendar.

Evi Fenway and Fiona Price have commenced work on the new Atomic Café on 1st June of the 28th Year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price has said that it was a disgrace that chambers attached to the abandoned underground were sitting doing nothing when they could be used to generate a fiscal multiplier, by getting people into gainful employment.

Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee responded that she would reserve judgment.  'While any improvement in Iona-5's diabolical unemployment rate is to be welcomed, it remains to be seen whether this development will lead to increased levels of intoxication, loutishness, sexual depravity and anarchism.

Fiona Price replied that to Kalyn Novak, anyone more left-libertarian than Attila The Hun is an anarchist.

 Disc 14: Lydia Lindemann: From Lydia Lindemann's Poetic Works

Here is a place of zeros and ones

Cyberblue skies and synthetic suns

Somewhere to fly when your body is broken

A place for the freedom of minds to be spoken

A haven for ravings, a world made of art

A gathering of souls only digits apart.

 Disc 15: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 19th June - 28th Year of The New Calendar.

 The public toilets on the corner of Gibson Street and East Road have been branded a disgrace by local-resident groups, after being voted the worst public conveniences in the Second Life metaverse.

Fiona Price rubbished the suggestion, stating that she'd once had lesbian sex in a public convenience in the Second Life Metaverse that was just as bad, and was full of thieves, whores, junkies and murderers to boot.

When asked where this was exactly, Price stated that she was so wankered on booze and cryocaine at the time that she couldn't recall the name of the place.

Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee said that, 'It's all well and good for Fiona Price, with her fancy suits, fast cars and well heeled connections, not to take this matter seriously, but she doesn't have to use the fucking things.  Some of the impoverished citizens of Iona-5 don't have a choice.'

 Disc 16: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 23rd June - 28th Year of The New Calendar.

Sienna Vanlaere, a treasurer at city hall, was today asked to account for a 56,325 L$ miscellaneous entry in Iona-5 city finances that auditors claim corresponds very precisely to an invoice submitted by a prestigious hotel in Neo Tokyo for 'services rendered'. 

Vanlaere responded: 'I'm glad you asked me that, because it's a very good question and a very important question.  People have had enough of posturing politicians prevaricating and misdirecting, which is precisely why I'm a woman who believes in coming straight to the point.  

Important questions deserve clear, consise and accurate answers and this one is no exception.  I think we've all had it up to the eyeballs with politicians ignoring the question they were asked and answering one they wish they were asked, or going into long, rambling, irrelevant monologues where they talk at length and never say anything.

Furthermore... ah... what was the question again?'

 Disc 17: Annette Scully: Date: 27th June, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

MEMO TO:  Chief Inspector Kiska Stelarius

Greetings.

Radiation levels in the north west quadrant are still highly dangerous, the shield wall is in tatters in that area and I simply don't have the man power to have officers constantly on guard at the entrance to the exclusion zone, which is now being routinely used as a red-light district.

I already have officers working long overtime hours, but their good will has been stretched to breaking point.  If these kinds of manpower demands are going to be put on us by City Hall, we are going to need more staff.  We also have dire shortages in decontaminent nanocytes, in spite of the fact that some of our officers have been subjected to more than 200 REM.

Kind Regards,

Annette Scully.

 Disc 18: Kiska Stelarius : Date: 28th June, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

MEMO TO:  Sergeant Annette Scully

RE:  Your memo, dated June 27th.

I sympathise with your position, but it has been made clear to me that City Hall will not finance any increase in our current staffing levels.  I have visited City Hall in person and had a full and frank discussion with that arse, Danyka, on the matter, but was derrided as a Neo Luddite for questioning the safety record of the ED-209.

On the matter of the radioactive contamination, Fiona Price has promised she'll obtain decontaminant nanocytes 'by hook or by crook', provided we allow her to bring them in 'discretely' on a delivery vehicle she intends to charter for the purpose.  I caught her drift at once and, frankly, whatever she's planning, I can learn to live with it.  In fact, if she has a plan to bring in nanocytes and all we have to do is not find out about something she wants to bring in with them, I guarantee I can learn to love it.

Kind Regards,

Kiska Stelarius.

 Disc 19: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 29th June, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

Officials at City Hall have are said to be 'appalled and mystified' at the outbreak of a cleaner's strike in Iona-5.  City Hall public relations officer Jaqueline Holbach pointed out that, 'This is not the 20th Century and the working grades must learn their place.  In the days when many jobs have been replaced with AI, cleaners are in a very privileged position and should appreciate how lucky they are to have employment at all.'

August McRaven, a spokesperson for the Iona-5 cleaners, responded that Jaqueline Holbach might not feel quite so thankful if her job involved wading up to her knees in liquid shite every day in 200+ REM of radiation and having to work every hour God sends to earn a living wage, rather than sitting in a pleasant, air conditioned, radiation screened office drinking malt whisky and cryocaine that City Hall ponce from the public dole.

 Disc 20: Annette Scully: RE: Your Memo Dated 28th June.

In response to your memo, dated 28th June, where you suggest that we turn a blind eye towards Fiona Price bringing 'something' into the city along with a supply of decontaminant nanocytes, I think we both know that 'something' means cryocaine, funny-frog, sunshine-acid and sundry other controlled substances.

It is your prerogative to take the final decisions regarding city policing, and I will carry out the order, but you should know that I do so under protest and that the protest will be written into my log.

Kind Regards,

Annette Scully.

 Disc 21: Kiska Stelarius : RE: Memo Dated 29th June.

Scully, you can carry out the order any fucking way you like, just so long as you make one hundred percent certain that there are no patrols, drones or officers anywhere near the gate at the south end of East Road between 19:00 and 21:00 on 19th July.  I trust this will be the last I'll hear of the matter.  I've cleared the plan with City Hall.  If you decide to be a hero, I'm afraid you'll find yourself on a very lonely road.

Anyway, we both know nothing except that Fiona Price is bringing in the nanocytes we desperately need to stop our officers from getting sick.  As long as we make sure the known unknowns remain unknown no one can be held accountable.  Don't you worry about anything, pal; I've got your back.

Warmest Regards,

Kiska Stelarius.

 Disc 22: Fiona Price's Spam Folder:

Dear Miss Price,

We know that you are not the kind of person who wants to pay for the irresponsible behaviour of others.

We know that you have spent years building up your perfect credit rating.

We know that you can make personal use of our Iona-5 Capital Credit Transceiver, complete with cheque guarantee up to five thousand credits and monthly APR of only 29.99%

We know that you're ready to sign up and talk to a credit advisor, today, for advice on how to contribute to societal economic ruin for your own, very short term, personal gain.

Remember, we care about your money...   A lot.

Kind Regards,

Capital Credit Team.

 Disc 23: Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 07th July, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

City Hall's Alison Konicek has lodged a complaint against Officer Heather Simril, after being told 'Move along fuck-face' yesterday evening.  Simril was patrolling the Red Light District when the alleged incident occured.

Police Chief Kiska Stelarius hit back, suggesting that City Hall officials should know better than to flout Iona-5 by-laws, especially as it's City Hall that passes law in Iona-5.

Officer Simril attests that the alleged incident occurred after Konicek, who had far too much to drink, punched her after pointing out that 'you are a public service pleb, while I am the cream of the city.' in a foul mouthed exhange of words.

Stelarius has stated that she'll be happy to drop a charge of assault on her officer if Konicek will let the sad, sorry affair come to a quiet end with no harm done.

City Hall were contacted by The Herald, but the receptionist told us that no officials were available for comment.

 Disc 24: Erika Kioku: Memo to: Melissa Lamar, Iona-5 Head Kino Runner.

Greetings,

Several more people have come forward complaining of conflicting memories that both seem equally real following a Kino Running procedure.  If people start to lose faith in Kino Running then the whole practice of memory editing could be called into question.  I'm sure I don't have to impress upon you what that would mean.  The last thing we need is another Neo-Luddite rebellion in the sectors.

You must redouble your efforts to find out what is causing this.

Kind Regards,

Erika Kioku.

 Disc 25: Melissa Lamar: Memo:  Melissa Lamar to Erika Kioku.  10th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

The reason for the memory glitches you mention are simple.  I did my PhD on this and was refused publication because I was 'challenging orthodoxy in a way that could get people into trouble'.  Good phrase that; a one-size-fits-all excuse to bin anything inconvenient.  

The phenomenon is called a Lamar-Neukamp Mobius Loop.  Because we graft in artificial memories as close as possible to the original memories, the original can gestalt shift with the grafted memory.  The two memories then loop round each other, causing the perception of conflict.

There is no evidence that sticking close to the original memory makes for better Neukamp-Immersion.  The only reason for it is outmoded convention.  Ria Neukamp herself warned of this and no one listened to her either.  Seems they felt that just because she invented the process doesn't mean she'd know anything about it.

Perhaps they'll listen now.

Regards,

Lamar.

 Disc 26: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 16th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Iona-5 City Hall and The Concerned Citizens Committee have blasted each other in a bitter war of words after details were leaked of City Hall turning a blind eye to illegal surveillance of Iona-5 citizens and vistors.

This comes after assurances from Alison Konicek of City Hall that no information on anyone in Iona-5 would ever be collated without a court order and due process of law, and that the whole idea was an absurd fantasy.

Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee has stated that she will leave no stone unturned to find out who knew about this outrage and make sure they are brought to justice.  She further added that she can tell when City Hall officials are lying because their lips start moving.

 Disc 27: - Konicek - Holbach IM: Instant Message Conversation Alison Konicek & Jaqueline Holbach: 16th July, 28th Year, New Calendar.

Konicek:    Why the hell wasn't I informed that Iona-5 citizens' phones are being bugged?  I've just stood up on television in front of the committee and made epistemological claims that stretch the logical and semantic resources of the English language to an extent that they are not equipped to bear.

Holbach:    Actually, you're not strictly correct.  There is no bugging of telecommunications devices currently occurring in Iona-5.

Konicek:    When did it last occur?

Holbach:    It was halted indefinitely eighteen minutes ago.

Konicek:    My office!  Now!  And you'd fucking better be out of breath and sweating when you come through the door!

 Disc 28: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 18th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

For the second time this week, Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee has blasted City Hall in a bitter war of words.

Novak claimed that City Hall officials 'couldn't run a menage' after the mail box in Main Street was moved to the front doorway of the police station.  According to Miss Novak, it is a 'sad day' when, in a city with state of the art surveillance everywhere, the only way to get a package to its destination without it being urinated on or set fire to is to place the mail box in constant eyeshot of the police.

City Hall claim that the mailbox was relocated to make way for a new gallery across the road from the Crimson Immortal Lounge and suggested that Miss Novak has 'far too much time on her hands'

 Disc 29: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 19th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Kayln Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee spent a night in the cells after making what she called a 'citizens arrest' and what Fiona Price called 'a vicious assault'.

Novak claims to have caught Miss Price smuggling sunshine acid and cryocaine into the city along with a supply of decontaminate nanocytes that she was delivering to Kiska Stelarius' police squad.

Miss Price and Chief Inspector Stelarius have ridiculed Novak's claims, with Stelarius attesting that an 'exhaustive' search of Miss Price's truck had shown no trace of any illegal substances, only the promised nanocytes that are essential for the wellbeing of the good people of Iona-5.

'If you're a concerned citizen and suspect someone of wrongdoing you contact the police.' said Price. 'You don't kick the shit out of them while they lie there screaming on the ground.'

 Disc 30: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 19th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

More shots have been fired in a battle of words between Concerned Citizens Committee chairman Kayln Novak, Iona-5 citizen Fiona Price and Iona-5 Police Chief Kiska Stelarius.

Novak is 'livid' after spending a night in the cells for allegedly beating up Price in an altercation about Iona-5 border controls.  Novak's counter allegations were brushed aside by Stelarius, but Iona-5 Procurator Fiscal Anders Drayton has said that while there is not enough evidence to bring charges, procurement procedures for nonocytes by city police were most irregular.

Price has submitted an invoice to the CCC for $499 LD for the destruction of a suit that she claims was ruined when she was put in a headlock and then thrown face first into an oily puddle.

Novak has stated that she will not pay a penny.  'Don't be taken in by Price's nerdy presentation and plummy accent.' she warned. 'That one is as sharp as a serpent's tooth.'

 Disc 31: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 19th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price was in police custody this morning after allegedly ram-raiding the Archive Center in a Ferrari F-430 in the early hours of this morning.  Price is said to have been in a stupor and unable to speak coherently following the incident, which she attributes to having been in a state of shock.

Charges of drunk driving have had to be dropped after Price's lawyers demanded to see calibration certificates for the brethalyzer machine used on Price, which turned out to be four years out of date.

'It's only because of your heroic delivery of life-saving nanocytes, and a generous donation by Evi Fenway on your behalf towards city upgrades, that you are being spared jail Miss Price.' Judge Wyatt Nakada warned. 'Any repeat of this and you'll be locked up for a very long time.  Someone could have been killed.'

 Disc 32: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 26th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Details have emerged of a cache of illegal substances and equipment that have been found behind Iona-5's Brown Buildings, in an area hidden from sight by a holographic wall in the red light district.  The black-market goods have now been confiscated by police.

Suspicion immediately fell on Fiona Price, who was arrested in the early hours of yesterday morning after being spotted in the vicinity of the holographic wall several times on CCTV.  Price maintains her innocence, and the case against her was ruled a mistrial because of checksum errors on the CCTV footage that raise doubts over when it was recorded.

'You live like an animal, in open defiance of society's rules and conventions.' Judge Wyatt Nekada warned. 'Your luck in evading the law using technicalities will soon run out. When it does, you and I will find ourselves on a collision course.'

 Disc 33: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 28th July, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price was once again in trouble with the law after being caught on CCTV writing off a motorcycle by crashing it into a wall at the Crimson Immortal Lounge, nearly killing an exotic dancer in the process.

Price was then seen on camera running towards the subway.  She was apprehended by police exiting a nightclub in the La Orchila region and extradited back to Iona-5.

After spending a night in the cells, Price was brought before Judge Wyatt Nekada, who ordered a mistrial on the grounds of an executive order from City Hall.  

When asked for comment, Judge Nekada replied, 'When Evi Fenway instructs her lawyers to tell City Hall she wants a mistrial, it's a mistrial.  Miss Price and I will have our day soon enough.'

Miss Price was also asked for comment.  'Maybe he's right,' she said, 'but not today.'

 Disc 34: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 3rd August, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

Kalyn Novak of the Concerned Citizens Committee has once again taken up cudgels with City Hall.  The latest spat is over a complaint to the CCC by Edna Welthorpe, who lives in the red flats at the east end of Gibson Street, about the stench from the fires currently raging in the recycling area, also known by local residents as the cowp.

City Hall officials have stated that since the burning of excrement started eighteen months ago, levels of dysentery in the poorer areas of the city have been reduced to almost zero.  City Hall spokesman Emma Stannis further pointed out that after World War III the human population is now nowhere near large enough to have a detrimental effect on the environment at large.  Novak countered that for a perfectly reasonable investment the sewage could be processed as biofuel and actually be put to good use.  She also noted the coincidence that the prevailing wind carries the stench away from City Hall.

 Disc 35: - Doctor Novikov: Doctor Novikov's Journal - 3rd October, 28th Year of The New Calendar.

Biohacks on the algaric and psilocybin mushrooms have proceeded as planned.  They can now grow to hundreds of times the mass of their natural counterparts.  I did ask what Miss Price and Miss Fenway wanted them for.  They said they intended to brew them in a pot of boiling water, let them simmer for a few minutes and then drink them as tea.  I asked them whatever for?

They decided that they could only describe the effects as interesting, and added that if I'm not of a disposition towards anxiety or paranoia I should definitely try it.  I thanked them and told them I would take that under advisement.  They then murdered one of William Blake's poems, burbling something about the doors of perception and a man being locked in a cave.

Frankly, I don't give a fuck what the pair of them get up to.  They might be off their rockers, but the money they paid me for this will keep my lab solvent for another two years.

 Disc 36: - Iona 5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald, 30th Oct, 28th Year New Calendar

The death of Kalyn Novak, formerly of Iona-5's Concerned Citizens Committee, has been described by Evi Fenway as being 'tragic and unforeseeable'.

Novak was killed after being caught in the reheat exhaust of one of the Spectre VTOL aircraft used in the Iona-5 evacuation after the city was rendered uninhabitable by a radiation leak.

Novak had a fractious relationship with many city officials and residents, in particular local playgirl Fiona Price, whom Novak was recently arrested for beating up in a public brawl.  Price, coincidentally, happened to be piloting the Spectre through its take-off manoeuvre at the time of the accident.

Asked to comment on whether, in spite of their differences, she felt that Novak would be missed in the new Iona-5 City, Price replied, 'Who?'

 Disc 37: - Whistleblower: Anonymous Memo: 31st October, 28th Year New Calendar

To: Judge Wyatt Nekada

As something of a voice in the wilderness, I would strongly suggest an investigation into why Fiona Price is so interested in acquiring an abandoned building, in a state of near ruin, in Stephenson Street.  I would further urge an exhaustive search of said building.  You shall not be disappointed.

A friend, and believer in law and order.

 Disc 38: - IM From Kiska Stelarius: Instant Message: 31st October, 28th Year New Calendar

Kiska Sterlarius: Scully, it has been brought to my attention that a whistleblower has contacted Judge Nekada with reference to a perfectly legal and in no obvious way irregular lease that Fiona Price has acquired, in good faith, on one of the buildings in Stephenson Street.  

I want this matter investigated and the whistleblower identified.

Annette Scully: Understood.  I'll set up an immediate leak inquiry.

Kiska Stelarius:  Are you mad?  I don't want a leak inquiry, I want to find out who did it!  Leave no stone unturned and no brown envelope unopened.

Kiska Stelarius: I mean no electronic document unopened.

 Disc 39: - New Iona-5 Herald: New Iona-5 Herald: 4th November, 28th Year New Calendar

Fiona Price was once more in police custody last night after a breach of the peace at the Utopia Commune, involving a set of bagpipes.  After being taken back to Iona-5 in the custody of Officer Heather Simril, Price was thrown in the cells and left to sleep it off.

A Disc Jockey from Utopia described Price as 'an overweening nincompoop' and expressed the hope that Officer Simril would use Price's head to open the cell doors.

Judge Wyatt Nekada said that it gave him great pleasure to fine Price a thousand guineas, stating that his only compunction in doing so was that it wasn't a far more serious offence that would have allowed him to impose a custodial sentence.

Price, when asked for comment, said that she was 'deeply ashamed' of her behaviour and would apologise to the DJ in person at earliest opportunity.

 Disc 40: - New Iona-5 Herald: New Iona-5 Herald: 16th November, 28th Year New Calendar

Fiona Price was today accused of piloting an aircraft into a house in the Malvern region, which fortunately was empty.  It is alleged that Price lost control of the vehicle under the influence of alcohol; charges, however, were dropped.  Price, according to police, 'spent the night holed up in Daemon Haven, thereby avoiding detection long enough to avoid a breath test'.

Doubt was also cast by Price's lawyers on whether she was, in fact, piloting the craft, which belonged to a third party who can't be named for legal reasons, from a region with no extradition agreement.  

Erika Kioku, the new Iona-5 Chief Inspector, when asked for a quote, stated: 'While I cannot legally call Price a criminal, judging by the way she legged it from the scene she certainly is a coward.'

'Everyone would be a coward if they only had the courage' Price replied.

 Disc 41: - New Iona-5 Herald: New Iona-5 Herald: 16th November, 28th Year New Calendar

Evi Fenway's Red Lounge was last night raided by police following reports of illegal drug use, liquor consumption outside normal licensing laws, and sexual acts of an obscene nature.

Miss Fenway described the incident in derisive terms, stating that the search was undoutedly illegal, and coincided with her annual report on the allocation of prims and linden dollars to the police presence in New Iona-5, a report that nobody would benefit from being written and submitted when she was in a less than optimal temper.

Police Chief Erika Kioku stated that she'd looked into the legality of the search and that heads, or at least assistant heads, or at the very least junior managerial heads, would roll, trusting that when the spoils were tabulated, that is to say the resources allocated, Miss Fenway would find herself in favourable humour.

That way, she concluded, everyone can get on with their business, including the drug addled deviants in the Red Lounge.

 Disc 42: - New Iona-5 Herald: New Iona-5 Herald: 18th November, 28th Year New Calendar

Astronauts Glitter 'Bee' Melnitz and Fiona Price today made Iona-5 history by piloting the test flight of the Darwin III Orbital Rocket, under the watchful eye of Launch Controller Hoot Wittels.

The launch, conducted by Controller Wittels at the Lagrange Spaceport Facility, was a success, with the ignition and pitch and roll program performed perfectly by the rocket's inbuilt computers.  Unfortunately, the flight then ran into trouble.

A collision with a suborbital skybox forced Melnitz and Price to activate the Launch Escape System and eject from the capsule.  Both astronauts successfully returned to land shaken, but with no serious injury.

'At least I managed not to crash land in someone's living room this time.' Price remarked.

 Disc 43: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Nov 25th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

The New Iona-5 Mainframe went online yesterday, in a move that its builder Evi Fenway says massively increase efficiency of energy distribution in the City.  Miss Fenway and Fiona Price claim that without the influence of the corrupt pen pushers at City Hall in the former Iona-5, controversial snooping processes from the old city will be reformed beyond recognition.

Omni Computer Products claim that the tech and software used in the new system are a blatant rip off of the system they recently installed in the Narcotic Sim at Madori Bay.  Judge Wyatt Nekada, when asked for comment on the legal position, said, 'Good luck to them trying to do anything about it.  I've been trying to bring the pair of them to justice for years.'

'Information must be free.' said Fiona Price. 'The rights of the people of Iona-5 to live trump the rights of OCP to take their wealth and put it in untraceable LD accounts in Blake Sea tax havens.'

 Disc 44: - Error Code 121: Cyclic Redundancy Error:  Disk Read Error Code: 00000000000079

 Disc 45: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Nov 27th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Glitter and Tam Bee Trouble, using biohacking techniques pioneered by Doctor Anatoly Novikov, have affected the first genetic cloning of a Dodo following the discovery of genetic material preserved in amber resin that was found next to Dodo remains.

Unfortunately, the only donor available to supply DNA to cover a handful of missing gene sequences was a Belgian Malinois, which has led to the living Dodo following people everywhere while acting like a hyperactive five-year old on a red-bull overdoze.

Nevertheless, Doctor Novikov himself described the accomplishment as one of the seminal feats in modern biohacking.

 Disc 46 - Iona-5 Herald: Disc 46 - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Nov 27th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price was accused last night of committing indecent acts with a cloned dodo, after being caught on CCTV.  An uncharacteristically contrite Price said that she'd had far too much to drink on a pub crawl with Hoot Wittels, a resident of Stephenson Street.

Price was brought in front of Judge Wyatt Nekada stark naked after losing her clothes at an open air blues/jazz festival in Webster Parrish Park.  She claimed to have removed her suit to bring down her avatar complexity.

Heather Simiril of Iona-5 Police said that Price was escorted home after being found wandering naked in Main Street.  Price claimed that she was sexually molested by the dodo, aptly named Dildo, while drifting off to sleep on the couch.  Captain Flint, Price's parrot and the only eye witness, said, 'Mind the boat!'

Judge Nekada fined Price 1000 LD.

 Disc 47: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Nov 30th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Glitter and Tam 'Bee' Trouble were today hauled in front of Judge Wyatt Nekada after being seen on CCTV and by numerous eye witnesses, from behind twitching net curtains, tearing up the streets of New Iona-5 on motorcycles.

Fiona Price, who was found hiding in a server room fifty yards from an abadoned motorcycle, was quizzed by Heather Simril, a stalwart and key worker from Erika Kioku's Iona-5 police squad.  

Price said, 'I don't know what my frie..... aquaintances, did to upset people, but it was nothing to do with me.  I've been in here working an lsl scripting glitch all night.

The two Troubles were warned by Judge Nekada that they were only being released with a caution because of their usual good judgement and behaviour, and that there would 'bee trouble' if they were up in front of him again.

 Disc 48: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Dec 10th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

An anonymous passer by yesterday found an apparently abandoned Type-40 TARDIS floating thousands of meters above the sea off the coast of Ghulffoot Harbour.  The object was returned to its owner, Fiona Price, who expressed surpise at its recovery and said that she'd lost it weeks ago and forgotten all about it.

The passer by told Iona-5 Police Constable Heather Simril of her astonishment that anyone could be capable of the degree of ineptitude required to lose such an expensive piece of hardware miles out at sea, in the middle of nowhere, and manage not even to remember it.

'It's not really that astonishing to people who know Fiona Price.' Simril replied.

 Disc 49: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Dec 11th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Evi Fenway and Fiona Price have embarked on a massive building project in New Iona-5, coinciding with upgrades to the harbour area and a new aerodrome.  Fenway and Price hope that the gentrification of Stephenson Street and the demolition of crumbling buildings in the abandonded red light district will bring fresh talent into the city.

Critics have claimed that this has accomplished nothing more than to move the unemployed and homeless up to a second level that has been built with squalid conditions and a lack of facilities.

'It has a foodbank and buildings with four walls and a roof, that we allow anyone to come in here and use,' Fiona Price demurred, 'which is a lot better than they have in many other places.'

 Disc 50: - Memo From Erika Kioku To Annette Scully: Memo From Erika Kioku To Annette Scully:

Why has that building, in a state of near ruin, in Stephenson Street, that was recently leased by Fiona Price not been put under observation yet?  I gave express instructions that I wanted this expedited.

I sincerely hope that you aren't dragging your heels on this operation because of your past association with Price and Fenway in your wayward youth?

Kind Regards, Erika Kioku.

 Disc 51: - Memo From Annette Scully To Erika Kioku: Memo From Annette Scully to Erika Kioku:

Greetings.  The reason the building has not been put under observation is because Kiska Stelarius made it clear to me that we were not to disturb Fiona Price, and that it would be the worse for us if we do.  If you wish to go against Stelarius you can do so yourself; I want nothing to do with it.

As for my past, lets just leave that where it belongs shall we?  In the past.  If we do dredge up my past, we might dredge up along with it details of some very powerful and dangerous friends that I made back then, which could have sad, sorry consequences when I was forced to tell them they were being used as poltical footballs.

I hope I've made myself quite clear.  Scully.

 Disc 52: - Error Code 121: Cyclic Redundancy Error:  Disk Read Error Code: 00000000000079

 Disc 53: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Dec 24th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price and Glitter Melnitz have come under criticism of alleged arms dealing following an anonymous entry on social media, titled 'The Trans-Blake Success Story of The Life Saving Gun'; with Price and Melnitiz being accused of packaging weapons for sale to SL warzones.

Price played down the allegations, claiming that photographs of her operating the 'life saving gun' were merely routine exercises aiming at upgrading Iona-5's security.

When asked what she thought a 'life saving' gun might mean, Price replied, 'I imagine it means very helpful to the person using it, but the last thing you'd ever see if you were a peace loving pygmy living on top of a copper mine; however, we have no plans to proliferate arms in Second Life.  And anyway, we haven't found any yet that are full perm.'

 Disc 54: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Dec 30th, 28th year of the New Calendar.

Doctor Anatoly Novikov was accused of quackery today when it was discovered that a number of his 'biohacks' were on sale in SL Marketplace for a handful of $LD.  

'I've never claimed to be the only Biohacker in SL.'  Novikov responded. 'Just because a lot of my equipment looks like it came from a fifteenth century apothacary to ignorant cu...   to the lay person, doesn't mean it isn't sophisticated.  We've all had to do a bit of McGivering since World War III.  It might not look like a NASA white room from the 20th Century, but it works.'

Fiona Price and Evi Fenway were quick to jump to Novikov's defence.

'He knows a lot about pharmaceuticals.' they claimed.

 Disc 55: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Jan 18th, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Edna Welthorpe, an erstwhile resident of Iona-5's Stephenson Street, was found dead in her car today after it was pulled over in a random spot check by police.  Her body was in an advanced state of decomposition, with Doctor Anatoly Novikov estimating a time of death of around three months ago, an estimate supported by the vehicle's logs.

Questions have been raised about why her Tezla car continued to drive her around from charging point to charging point for twelve weeks.  Logs downloaded from the car's AI suggest that she'd ordered the car to get under way heading East onto the ring-road from Stephenson Street, but died before giving the car a specific destination.

Avon Tusk, the CEO of the car's manufacturer, commented, 'I expect in the fullness of time we'll all be having a jolly good laugh about this.'

 Disc 56: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: Jan 22nd, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Details emerged yesterday of a an intelligent robot being sent through time to Iona-5 to seek, locate and kill Main Street resident Sarah Connor.  The robot was part of Skynet, an AI built with 2020's technology.

Fortunately, the homicidal robot was foiled due to the risible record of 2020's AI in dealing with spelling and grammar errors.  A cunning re-jigging of Sarah Connor's name in the Iona-5 citizens database to Sarahh Connnor led the AI to auto-correct to 'Sahara Condor'.

On finding there appeared to be no Sarah Connor living in the target flats in main street, the leather jacketed, ray-bans wearing 'terminator' left the database building and headed through the gap in the shield wall, past the old theatre house, and on to try it's luck in DewXon City.

Disc 57:- Journal of Fiona Price: The Journal Of Fiona Price - Jan 23rd, 29th Year of the New Calendar.

When I was young and naive, I thought The Singularity would be a single, catastophic event.  Now, finally, I understand.  The Singularity has been under way for years.  Decades.  Like the proverbial frog in the slowly heating water, it was going on all around us and we didn't realise.  We've hoisted ourselves on our own petard.

All watched over by machines of loving grace.

Fiona Price.

 Disc 58: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 18th April, 29th Year of The New Calendar

Fiona Price and Tam 'Bee' Trouble were blasted today in a war of words with management of a neighbouring parcel at Daemon Haven.  Price and Trouble were accused of spying on the neighbours by building a prim over their property, using loopholes in the way prims can overhang boundaries.

Price initially denied all knowledge of the allegations, but later had to admit she'd 'visted' the neighbours' land when a photo of her was published by a greeter bot in the neighbours' BDSM club.

Trouble claimed that the pair were merely observing a breeder farm as concerned citizens, while Price claimed to be shocked and appalled at the very idea of sexual deviancy in Daemon Haven.  The neighbours branded Trouble and Price's behaviour 'cowardly' and said that in future they should come and speak to our faces.

Judge Nekada said that as much as he'd love an excuse to hand Price over to the neighbours' fair justice, there's no extradition treaty.

 Disc 59: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 05th July, 29th Year of The New Calendar

Fiona Price and Evi Fenway today faced a backlash from local residents after making swingeing cutbacks to the city's infrastructure budget.

'We do this with a heavy heart' Price responded. 'No one takes this lightly and it's not what anyone wanted, but with the current cost of living crisis, tough choices had to be made.  I've had to work all day with no lunch myself after the diner was returned when we were forced to reduce the land impact.  We're all in this together and we're all feeling the pinch.'

At that point, a very well dressed courier arrived in a Bentley claiming to have two portions to go, for a Price and Fenway, of caviar and gold quails eggs on a bed of truffles with a bottle of the 1948 Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1er Grand Cru Classe Pauillac Bordeaux.

'Ah...  Give me two minutes.' Price replied. 'My wallet is in the Delorean...  I mean the car...'

 Disc 60: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 29th August, 29th Year of The New Calendar

Fiona Price, Evi Fenway and Tam 'Bee' Trouble were embroiled in controversy again over the sacrficing of an SL virgin at an illegal rave in the Iona-5 City Square, in the forecourt of the Hanoi Hilton.

While there are no laws against sex in the street in Iona-5 per se, irregularities were highlighted by the police into the nature of the virgin, who turned out to be a genetically engineered replicant.

'It's true that we were unable to find a virgin in the entire Second Life metaverse and had to clone one of our own.' said Price. 'It was important to have a proper pagan ceremony to pander to...  I mean to consecrate the new Iona-5 city.'

'With city budgets still under review in the new Iona-5, budgets that no one will benefit from Miss Price and myself formulating in ill humour, I'm sure an inquiry will find that everything was legal and above board.' said Evi Fenway.

 Disc 61:- Fiona Price Journals: 25th September, 29th Year of the new calendar.  Journal of Fiona Price.

I feel old, and tired and done... Sometimes...  I'm so tired...  I wish the world would make a little bit of space for me to fit into.  Why the fuck do we all have to spend the blink of an eye allocated to us struggling like fuck, against all odds, for just a tiny bit of relevance?

 Disc 62: - Journal of Fiona Price: Journal of Fiona Price, 09th Oct, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Sometimes an event occurs that makes the world stop for a second and take notice.  There are times when we can find ourselves rocked to the very cornerstones of our faith.  In these moments, shaken and frightened, we must fall back on basic values.  Our beliefs.  Our moral codes.  Our political compass.  Our basic survival instincts.  Such events may happen once a decade, or even more rarely than that.

Ukraine can be invaded, we can be brought to the brink of nuclear confrontation, we can be faced with now almost inveitable climate chaos, storms devastating the US eastern sea board and putting large swathes of Britain under water, not to mention self inflicted economic chaos and the resurgence of the fascist demogogue spreading hate and fear. 

But if Evi Fenway and Pia-Syn think they can get away with encouraging me to remove my trousers while utterly wankered on vodka and cryocaine, I can assure them, they have another think coming!

 Disc 63: - Journal of Fiona Price: Iona-5 Herald, 23rd Oct, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price was branded 'execrable' today by city officials, after two barrels of radioactive waste turned up in the foundations of a public toilet on the city's upper levels.

Price was ordered to move the barrels by city lawmakers, however, a complaint was subsequently lodged by Lydia Lindemann that they'd been hidden in a broken down Moskvitch right outside a new public house she plans to open in the city.

Judge Wyatt Nekada has ordered Price to move the barrels to a safe location, and stipulated that by safe he does not mean hidden next to the disused overpass like last time.

Police Chief Erika Kioku issued a statement that the modified ED-209 Price used to move the barrels is now dysfunctional, its circuits fried by radiation, causing it to shoot a skateboarder dead for lighting up a cigarette.

'Price needn't think repairs to the 209 are coming from my budget.' said Kioku. 'She's just lucky it didn't kill anyone fashionable.'

 Disc 64: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald, 8th Nov, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price, in a humiliating u-turn, had public INM showers installed in one of the empty buildings on Main Street after publicly denouncing them as 'a waste of time since Second Life avatars don't experience body odours'.

Tam 'Bee' Trouble had taken up cudgels with Price, pointing out that while this was indeed true, Second Life avatars do get covered in cum during sexual intercourse, which has to be removed.

Price backed down and had two INM showers rezzed by Evi Fenway, at a cost of 7 LI each.

When asked for comment, Miss Trouble said, 'I don't know why she bothered.  Who would want to have sex in that shit-hole?'

Miss Price, also asked for comment, said, 'I'm just glad I don't have any sexual deviancies.' before tightening her tie, squirming and letting out a long, coital gasp.

 Disc 65: - IM Fiona Price & Syn: IM - Fiona Price & Syn, 8th Nov, 29th year of the New Calendar.

[16:53] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): I've heard RL can be habit forming if you're not careful. You can end up spending way too much time there.

[16:54] Syn (synonym4sim) Laughs.

[16:54] Syn (synonym4sim): I try to avoid it as much as possible.

[16:54] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): For sure. Bad things can happen there. You can fall over and get hurt.

[16:55] Syn (synonym4sim): Ive heard you can't fly either. Havent tested the theory.

[16:55] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): I've heard that too.

[16:55] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): And what's worse, they say you can't teleport.

[16:55] Syn (synonym4sim): WHAT?!?

[16:55] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): Can you imagine it?

[16:56] Syn (synonym4sim): I can not.

[16:56] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): You have to travel in vehicles.

[16:56] Fiona Price (countwavnstein): Not just for amusement, but as a necessity.

[16:56] Syn (synonym4sim): Oh dear.

[16:56] Syn (synonym4sim) Shudders.

 Disc 66: - Iona Herald: Iona-5 Herald, 12th Nov, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price has once more courted controversy by having sex in public with Hank 'Cleetus' Delmont, a vagrant from Iona-5's 'Hanoi Hilton' building, a disused hotel now abandoned and turned into a squat.

Residents of Sector Z9's beach area, where the alleged dogging took place, are said to be appalled by Price inviting riff-raff like Delmont, who has a criminal record as long as The Lord of The Rings Trilogy, into their neighbourhood.

Price claimed to have skant memory of the incident, but commented that it explained an unusual stain that had appeared on her suit.

'I'm sure Tam Bee Trouble could shed some light on how I managed to end up in bed with Hank while I was too drunk to consent.' she added.

Chief of Police, Erika Kioku, advised residents to lock their doors and turn on security alarms, as Delmont's M.O. suggests he would likely have taken the opportunity to case the surrounding houses.

 Disc 67: - Iona Herald: Iona-5 Herald, 22nd Nov, 29th year of the New Calendar.

Fiona Price has yet again courted controversy for drunk and disorderly behaviour in the parcel neighbouring Sector Z9.

Price was allegedly so drunk that she fell into a table where a high stakes card game was being played, scattering the cards, table and money to the transformation matrices.

Erika Kioku of the Iona-5 Police Squad was contacted for comment.

There will be no charges brought on this occasion.  For once I'm forced to side with Price.  If I knew how, I'd blow that bloody eyesore of a sim sky-high.

 Disc 68: - New Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 residents and workers have once again taken up cudgels with Fiona Price and Evi Fenway over what their spokesperson, Tam 'Bee' Trouble, has described as 'risible' health and safety standards in the city's main street, following a rat infestation that has affected local shops and businesses.

Price, in what was described a screeching u-turn, at first claimed the city was too cash-strapped to worry about a few rodents, until seeing them crawling on her DeLorean.  Evi Fenway, the owner of the Red Lounge, was unavailable for comment on refuse collection procedures.

'I have bought a mobile decontamination unit and hired Lukas, a facilities maintenance technician, to keep an eye on things, at a cost of around 40 LI and the best part of a thousand lindens.' Price said. 'I am appalled and mystified as to where the rats came from in the first place.  They seem to have been genetically modified to stand the city's appal...  I mean moderate, radiation levels.  I'm hopeful Miss Trouble can shed light on this.'

 Disc 69: - New Iona-5 Herald: Building of the New Iona-5 / Syn City was brought to a temporary halt yesterday as William Signalsmith, the quartermaster of the general stores, refused to release nanocytes for the city's decontamination center.

Signalsmith claimed that city builders had misplaced Quality Control and Compliance Certificate SW41B321.

'This is absurd.' Fiona Price responded with fury. 'It's not like we're asking for a video game system or a kebab delivery service.  We're talking about lost lives without the nanocytes.  Bleating about a missing QCCC SW41B321 is not going to stop anyone shitting their guts out before they shrivel up and die when we have an outbreak of some long forgotten disease.'

'Oh, video game systems and keebab deliveries I can get her.'  Signalsmith commented. 'But not nanocytes without a QCCC SW41B321.'

 Disc 70: - Fazebuke Advert: Fazebuke Advert 17th March, 30th Year of the New Calendar.

Don't accept outrageous brainwashing and data mining from foreign types like TikTok and Huawei.

If you're going to be brainwashed, make sure it's proper, home-grown, old-fashioned, good-time, apple-pie brainwashing; and know that Fazebuke will provide you with the best.

We specialize in telemetry mining, propaganda and manipulation, delivered in that smooth, clean and subtle way that only Fazebuke can achieve.

We guarantee that the data we gather will only be sold to our own intelligence services, who will properly assess whether you're a naive idiot who can be ignored as fodder for targeted advertising from the corporations, or whether you're a potential non-conformist who needs to be kept under constant scrutiny and supervision.

Remember, we care...  about your personal data.

 Disc 71: - A Poem For Fiona - by Tiffany Ronzales: : A Poem For Fiona - by Tiffany Ronzales

Built right

Built different

But build she does

With honest heart

She does not accept Dark

/end

 Disc 72: - Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald: 27th May, 30th Year of The New Calendar.

Fiona Price, today, said that it is with humility, gratitude and graciousness that she accepts Lydia Lindemann's 'Hottie of The Month' award.  The much coveted award hangs in the front foyer of The Withered Spoon Public House in Sanctum Erotes.

'This reward is well deserved' said proprietor Lydia Lindemann.  'To be frank, Fiona is basically a younger, better looking hero figure to me.  I can't think of anyone who deserves this more.'

 Disc 73: - New Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 6th April, 30th Year, New Calendar

Fiona Price, in an uncharacteristic moment of quick thinking and level headedness, saw off a griefer attack on the Iona-5 City.

The attack took place late yesterday afternoon when Price disturbed an intruder in the city's Archive Center.  After following the intruder outside, Price was hit by a HUD weapon that threw her several meters into the air, until she struck the wall of the Red Room.

Price reacted quickly by activating city security countermeasures and having the griefer, who was dressed like the Penguin from Batman, ejected and banned from Sanctum Erotes and Sector Z9.

'Even a fucked clock is right twice a day' commented Erika Kioku, chief of Iona-5 Police. 'For once I'm forced to commend Price on removing the intruder before they could cause any serious trouble.'

Said Price, 'It's the first time I've won a Second Life Fight.'

 Disc 74: - Public Announcement Erika Kioku: Chief of Police, Erika Kioku:  

This is Chief of Police, Erika Kioku, speaking directly to all Iona 5 citizens.

I have been instructed by Judge Wyatt Nekada to place Miss Price under arrest while investigations into financial irregularities in the City are conducted. 

During the incarceration of Miss Price the day to day running of the City will undertaken by Hank 'Cleetus' Delmont. all new building construction by Pia Syn Erotes.

 Disc 75: - Public Announcement Erika Kioku: Chief of Police, Erika Kioku: 

This is Chief of Police, Erika Kioku, speaking directly to all Iona 5 citizens.

By public order, Tam 'Bee' Trouble's photo studio will be cordoned off until further notice while Doctor Anatloy Novikov investigates her sudden and acute dose of uncontrollable flatulence.

Fiona Price has apologised for any undue gleefulness about any inconvenience this may cause.

 Disc 76: MISSING

 Disc 77: - Exodus: Iona-5 Herald, 05th November, 30th Year of The New Calendar

Following bankruptcy and a fractuous residents meeting, residents have fled Iona-5 in panic before it's inevitable destruction when the meanies foreclose on the land and nuke everything on it.

Fiona Price, who escaped in a flying Delorean with Captain Flint, her parrot, and Dildo, a genetically engineered Dodo created by Glitter Melnitz, was available for comment.

'Away n' fuckin' ride yersels ya wankers', said Price, who was believed to be full of Scotch at the time.

 Disc 78: - New Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 13th November, 30th Year, New Calendar

Fiona Price, after a fractious debate today with Doctor Anatoly Novikov, has capitulated and built a decontamination facility in the main street of Rochial, at a cost of 31 LI.

Price had previously contended that radiation was hardly going to follow us all the way from Iona-5 to the new settlement in the Rochial area on the shores of the Blake Sea.

Novikov pointed out that while specious reasoning of a lay person might suggest so, liquified and vaporized isotopes from the exploded reactor were scattered and embedded into the structure of Iona-5's buildings and roads, many of which have been brought to Rochial to rebuild.

Asked when doing away with the facility might be an option, Novikov replied that, 'The half-life of plutionium-239 is 24,000 years, so let's just say not in our lifetime.'

 Disc 79: - New Iona-5 Herald: Iona-5 Herald - 26th December, 31st Year, New Calendar

Fiona Price, Andover Mulford and Glitter Melnitz were condemned by Iona-5 authorities after shooting up Gibson Plaza and Stephenson Street with a Sherman tank and a forty foot tall robot.

Krystal Emmerson from Iona-5's Central Office described how staff cowered in terror as buildings were sprayed with shells from the tank, under the command of Price and Mulford.  Melnitz then responded to the attack on her robot with rapid firing laser bolts, damaging Kirin Serevi's noodle house and the JPK building.

'I think we got a bit carried away.' said a shamefaced Fiona Price.

 Disc 80: - The Final Archive Disc:

        Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

        Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

        All of Fiona's attempts at amends

        couldn't put Humpty together again.